If you feel like you're drowing, go swimming

This is what you do.

If you feel low, you stand tall.

You mess up, you move on.

You want to try something, try it, and if it was a stupid thing to try, you look it in the eye.
There's no turning back.

You apologize if you're sorry, but know that the nimblest, strongest hands can't rebuild a bridge out of embers, so cut new wood. Start from scratch.

You love with your whole heart. If you're jealous, talk yourself from the ledge. If you can't talk yourself down from the ledge, have a good time up there, looking down on the world.

If you have to lie to make everything true again, lie like you mean it.

If you find yourself in a cage, reach out through the bars for the key, unlock the door, and run away. If running away gets dangerous, run home.

If home doesn't mean what it used to mean, decide what home will be in the future.

If your best friend says she doesn't trust you, hold her jaw in your hand until it hurts, and make her face you.

That's all it takes.

If you think you love a guy, see how his hand looks in yours, that's all it takes.

If you get exiled into a new land, then go discover it.

And if you feel like you're drowning, go swimming.

~  Excerpt from : Hobson Brown ~

Happiness - EPL

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."
— Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)

Self-Respect & Loving Yourself

Self-respect and loving yourself and others ~ by Toni Morrison

"You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him.

Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds.

But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own.

Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself."

A woman should have.............

"A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own even if she never wants
to or needs to... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her
dreams wants to see her in an hour... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind.... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age.... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black
lace bra... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who
lets her cry... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone
else in her family... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a
recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored... 

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a feeling of control over her destiny... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself.. 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... 

HOW TO QUIT A JOB,

BREAK UP WITH A LOVER, 

AND CONFRONT A FRIEND WITHOUT RUINING THE FRIENDSHIP... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.. 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't
take it personally... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table...
or a charming inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing... 

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year..." 

— Pamela Redmond Satran

Men Are More Intelligent Than Women?

And so the study claims........

Ha ! Can you believe that?
eehhmmmmm.......... read on my friends, and you be the judge.

Battle of the sexes: Are men more intelligent than women?

It is research that is guaranteed to delight men - and infuriate the women in their lives. A controversial new study has claimed that men really are more intelligent than women.

The study - carried out by a man - concluded that men's IQs are almost four points higher than women's.

British-born researcher John Philippe Rushton, who previously created a furore by suggesting intelligence is influenced by race, says the finding could explain why so few women make it to the top in the workplace.

He claims the 'glass ceiling' phenomenon is probably due to inferior intelligence, rather than discrimination or lack of opportunity.

The University of Western Ontario psychologist reached his conclusion after scrutinising the results of university aptitude tests taken by 100,000 students aged 17 and 18 of both sexes.

A focus on a factors such as the ability to quickly grasp a complex concept, verbal reasoning skills and creativity - some of they key ingredients of intelligence - revealed the male teenagers had IQs that were an average of 3.63 points higher. The average person has an IQ of around 100.

The findings, which held true for all classes and levels of parental education, overturn a 100 year consensus that men and women average the same in general mental ability. They also conflict with evidence that girls do better in school exams than boys.

But Prof Rushton, who was born in Bournemouth and obtained his doctorate in social psychology from the London School of Economics, argues that the faster maturing of girls leads to them outshining boys in the classroom.

And since almost all previous data showing an absence of difference between the sexes was gathered on schoolchildren, the gender difference could easily have been missed.

'It looks like up until late adolescence, the females have the advantage over males because they mature faster, which masks the underlying difference, he said.

Although experts have accepted that men and women differ mentally, with males averaging higher on tests of 'spatial ability' and females higher on verbal tests, it was assumed the differences averaged out, leaving no difference in overall intelligence.

Prof Rushton believes the differences are directly linked to brain size, with other studies showing men having slightly bigger brains than women.

'We know that men have larger brains, even when you take into account larger body size,' said the researcher. 'That means there are more neurons. The question is what these neurons are doing in a man - and they probably have an advantage in processing information.'

It is thought the difference may date back to the Stone Age, with women seeking out men who are more intelligent than them in a bid to pass on the best genes to their children.

'Some people have suggested it evolved because women prefer men who are more intelligent than they are for husbands,' said the professor.

'Just as they prefer men who are taller than them, they also prefer a male who is a little ahead of them in IQ.'

Critics claim Prof Rushton's results could have been skewed by the inclusion of more test results from females than form males.

Prof Rushton, who four years ago triggered a scientific row by claiming intelligence and behaviour are influenced by race, with blacks being more likely to be involved in crime and Asians having a greater chance of high IQs, however, stands by his results.

'These are unpopular conclusions,' he said. 'People should not be made to feel afraid to study controversial issues.

'We have the right to find the truth. One should really look at the facts.'

His work appears to confirm British research which showed men have bigger brains and higher IQs than women, which may explain why chess grandmasters and geniuses are more likely to be male.

The analyses of more than 20,000 verbal reasoning tests taken by university students from around the world revealed that women's IQs are up to five points lower than men's .

Women needn't feel despondent, however, as the scientists believe women can achieve just as much as men - as long as they work harder.

By BEN CLERKIN & FIONA MACRAE
Article courtesy of www.ivillage.com