Energy Vampires

Some people bring unexpected lightness and comfort to your life. They crackle with energy, practically electrify you with their presence. And then there are those who leave you feeling stressed out. Or guilty. Or exhausted down to your very last molecule. I call them energy vampires, and obnoxious or meek, they come in all forms. The sob sister, for one, always considers herself the victim. The world is always against her, and she'll recount every horrible thing that has happened to her, wallowing in every perceived slight. The charmer is a constant talker or joke-teller who has to be the center of attention. The blamer, on the other hand, doles out endless servings of guilt. And then there's the drama queen, the co-worker who claims she almost died from a high fever or the neighbor who lives in extremes of emotion—life is unbelievably good or horrifically bad.

No matter which type of energy vampire you're dealing with, you're allowed to walk away. Many of us find this really hard to do. We're afraid of being thought of as impolite; we don't want to offend people. But there are plenty of ways to remove yourself from a killing conversation. When leaving isn't an option, you can still maintain your energy level by making a few minor adjustments.

Recognize the Signs
One of the first things to do is to recognize when you're being drained, and that begins with tuning in to your physical reactions. Is there a tightening in your chest when a certain person enters the conversation? Do you feel tired when you hang up the phone after speaking with someone? Does your head ache, or do you feel what I call "slimed" when another guest at a cocktail party starts talking to you?

Take a Deep Breath
The moment you feel zapped—or hemmed in, or stressed out—I recommend taking a breath. Breathing is a wonderful way to center yourself. Just follow the breath and tell yourself that you know what's happening and you can deal with it. It's important to remember our individual power. I know from working with patients that we can lose it easily. The minute somebody comes in who's bossy or blaming, we feel diminished and tense up. If we can focus on the breath, or on an image of a striking sunset or a view from a mountaintop, the tension will drift away.

Use Your Energy
You can also use some of your own subtle energy to counter the effects of an energy vampire. Visualize a protective white light around you: an energy shield. You can still hear the person who's yelling at you or blaming you or pushing herself into your sphere, but she won't cut into you so viscerally anymore. You've created a buffer zone, where her negative influences can dissipate.

Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries is another way of protecting yourself; you draw a line saying, for instance, "This is what I can do for you, and this is what I can't." You don't have to convince the vampire of the rightness of your stance. Getting defensive simply adds to the negative charge of the encounter. You want to remain neutral. When someone starts pushing your buttons, and you start sizzling inside, you've got to make the decision not to react.

Step Back
I also suggest you step back and think about what type of people aggravate you, because I believe that one law of energy is that we attract what we haven't yet worked out in ourselves. If I'm a very angry person, I'll find myself surrounded by angry people. By paying attention to the people who seem so draining, you might discover something you need to address. It has been my experience that once you've worked through a particular issue, you're no longer worn out by that kind of energy vampire. And the vampires, robbed of a source, move on to more easily drainable audiences.

by Judith Orloff, M.D.

xin nian kuai le

"happy new year to you"

on behalf of all the angels, may i wish you all the best of happiness and health.

kuE's note: more pics of the above can be viewed here ;)

Let's Celebrate Love!

I owe this to La Pour Ta Vie Community….

Since I have been very quiet these past few weeks, I feel that I have to share this with all of you in conjunction with the Day of Love……

(I got this from a friend)

The Meaning of Flowers..


BABY'S BREATH: Innocence.

BLUEBELL: Humility, constancy.

BUTTERCUP: Childishness.

CALLA LILY: Magnificent beauty. Associated with the sixth wedding anniversary.

CARNATION: Fascination, distinction, divine love, woman, yes. Also the birthflower for January.

CARNATION, PINK: A woman's love, I'll never forget you, mother's love.

CARNATION, PURPLE: Capriciousness.

CARNATION, RED: Alas for my poor heart, admiration, my heart aches for you, fascination.

CARNATION, STRIPED: Refusal, No, sorry I can't be with you.

CARNATION, WHITE: Innocence, faithfulness, sweet and lovely, pure love, ardent love, good luck. These lovely flowers have lasting qualities, and are often handed out on Mother's Day to symbolize the purity and strength of motherhood. They were handed out at the first Mother's Day service in 1908.

CARNATION, YELLOW: Disdain, rejection, you have disappointed me.

CHRYSANTHEMUM: Cheerfulness, optimism, rest, truth. Considered to be a noble flower in Asian culture, mums are used as an object of meditation per a suggestion by Confucius. Also the birthflower for November.

CHRYSANTHEMUM, RED: I love.

CHRYSANTHEMUM, WHITE: Truth, loyal love.

CHRYSANTHEMUM, YELLOW: Slighted love.

DAFFODIL: Regard, rebirth, new beginnings, unrequited love, you're the only one, chivalry. Associated with the tenth wedding anniversary. Also the birthflower for March.

DAFFODIL, SINGLE: Misfortune.

DAFFODIL, SEVERAL: Joy, happiness.

DAHLIA: Instability. Associated with the fourteenth wedding anniversary.

DAISY: Innocence, loyal love, I'll never tell, purity. Associated with the fifth wedding anniversary.

DAY LILY: Coquetry, Chinese emblem for mother. Associated with the twentieth wedding anniversary.

FORGET-ME-NOT: True love, hope, remembrance, memories.

HIBISCUS: Delicate beauty.

JASMINE, WHITE or INDIAN: Amiability , I attach myself to you, sensuality, attachment.

JASMINE, SPANISH: Sensuality.

JASMINE, YELLOW: Grace, elegance.

LAVENDER: Devotion.

LILAC: Youthful, humility, confidence.

LILY: Majesty, wealth, pride, innocence, purity.

LILY, WHITE: Purity, modesty, virginity, majesty, it's heavenly to be with you. The white lily is linked to Juno, the queen of the gods in Roman mythology, by the story that while nursing her son Hercules, some excess milk fell from the sky creating the group of stars we call the Milky Way, and lilies were created from what milk fell to the earth. The Easter lily is also known as the symbol of the Virgin Mary.

LILY, ORANGE: flame, I burn for you.

LILY, YELLOW: I'm walking on air, false, gay.

LILY OF THE VALLEY: Return of happiness, purity of heart, sweetness, tears of the Virgin Mary, you've made my life complete, humility, happiness. The legend of the lily of the valley is that it sprang from Eve's tears when she was kicked out of the Garden of Eden. It is also believed that this flower protects gardens from evil spirits. Also known as the flower of May.

MAGNOLIA: Dignity, love of nature, nobility.

MARIGOLD: Affection, cruelty, grief, jealousy. The marigold was called Mary's Gold by early Christians who placed garlands of marigolds by statues of the Virgin Mary.

MARIGOLD, POT: Grief, despair.

MORNING GLORY: Loves you. Associated with 11th wedding anniversary.

ORCHID: Rare beauty, love, refinement, beautiful lady, Chinese symbol for many children, mature charm, beauty, long life. Associated with twenty-eighth wedding anniversary.

PANSIES: Receipient is being thought about. The flower's name comes from the French word pensée which means thought or remembrance. Associated with the first wedding anniversary.

ROSE: Love, passion, perfection. The rose was named for the Latin word rosa which means red. It has been a symbol of love since ancient times. Associated with the fifthteenth wedding anniversary. It is also known as the birthflower of June.

ROSE, BURGUNDY: Beauty within.

ROSE, CORAL: Desire.

ROSE, DARK CRIMSON: Mourning.

ROSE, HIBISCUS: Delicate beauty.

ROSE, LAVENDER: Love at first sight, enchantment.

ROSE, LEAF: You may hope.

ROSE, MOSS: Confessions of love.


ROSE, ORANGE: Fascination, display feeling of enthusiasm.

ROSE, PEACH: Desire, gratitude, apprecation, admiration, sympathy, modesty.

ROSE, PINK: Happiness, appreciation, admiration, friendship, sympathy.

ROSE, DARK PINK: Thankfulness.

ROSE, LIGHT PINK: Grace, gladness, joy, perfect happiness, please believe me, gratitude, admiration, gentility.

ROSE, RED: Love, passion, respect, courage, I love you, beauty, pure and lovely, prosperity.

ROSE, DEEP RED: Un-self-conscious beauty.

ROSE, SINGLE, FULL BLOOM: I love you, I still love you, new love.

ROSE, BUD, SMALL: Pure and lovely, beauty and youth, a heart innocent of love.

ROSE, THORNLESS: Love at first sight.

ROSE, WHITE: Innocence, purity, secrecy, I am worthy of you, silence, friendship, truth, virtue, girlhood, humility spiritual love, but of the soul, reverence, charm, happy love.

ROSE, WHITE, DRIED: Death is preferable to loss of virtue.

ROSE, YELLOW: Joy, friendship, true love, decrease of love, jealousy, try to care, freedom, slighted love, shows "I care", joy, gladness.

ROSES, BOUQUET, MATURE: Gratitude.

ROSES, RED & WHITE TOGETHER: Unity, flower emblem of England.

ROSES, YELLOW & RED TOGETHER: Happiness, congratulations.

ROSES, YELLOW & ORANGE TOGETHER: Passionate thoughts.

ROSEMARY: Remembrance, purity, rebirth.

SUNFLOWER: Follows the sun as it grows, adoration, haughtiness.

SWEET PEA: Lasting pleasure, good-bye, departure, blissful pleasure, thank you for a lovely

TULIP: Perfect lover, frame, flower emblem of Holland.

TULIP, RED: Believe me, declaration of love, fame.

TULIP, VARIEGATED: Beautiful eyes.

TULIP, YELLOW: Hopeless love, there's sunshine in your smile.

VIOLET: Modesty, faithfulness, innocence, understated beauty. Worn by the ancient Greeks to induce sleep and to calm tempers. Associated with the fifieth wedding anniversary. Also known as the birthflower of February.

VIOLET, BLUE: Watchfulness, faithfulness, I'll always be true.

VIOLET, PURPLE: Thoughts of you, blue love.

VIOLET, WHITE: Let's take a chance, youthful innocence.

VIOLET, YELLOW: Love of country.

WATER LILY: Purity of heart.

WEEPING WILLOW: Mourning.

Isn't life beautiful???